Sometimes I wonder why I write, why I'm bothering with a new blog. I mean, really, why? It seems so self-indulgent. I can come up with all kinds of reasons for it, such as I like writing, which is totally true. Or I could say it's because I'm working to process things in my head and I need to get them out somehow so I don't explode. That's a pretty good reason, too and very true. But the essence, the RAW TRUTH of why I really write this blog is that, for me, it's a hook.
What am I trying to catch with this hook?
YOU.
I'm not fishing for anything other than YOU, the person reading this right now. I write for you, because I want to get to know you, I want you to reply, I want to know what you think too. I am always interested in poking open what is raw, what is painful. I like to agitate, I like to irritate. I like to explore the things that people would rather keep covered up. I expose some of my deepest, biggest flaws when I write because I want YOU to know you are not alone in your imperfection, you are not alone in your failures and your sadness. Every single one of us stumbles, falls and sometimes has a hard time picking ourselves back up again.
Do I ever write about happy things? Happiness, to me, doesn't require as much exploration. People don't feel the need to dissect happiness as much as they dissect their pain. Because when you're happy, it seems so precarious that you don't want to touch it for fear it might crumble. It's like not looking that gift horse in the mouth for fear of getting bitten. Don't poke the laughing Buddha in the belly or he might die.
Anyway, that's what came bubbling to the surface tonight as I questioned my motives for writing YET ANOTHER blog. Why do I write? It's because I want to pull you in, to know what you think, to hear your stories. I'm not very adept at asking people personal questions, mainly because I believe if someone wants to tell you something personal, they'll open up themselves. I was raised not to pry and to respect another's silence. Just one of my peculiarities. If you wanted me to know personal things about you, I have faith that you would just tell me. But it also tells me that I'm addicted to the hook in some way, that I love the interaction, the reactions, even the rude ones! I love the sweet comments, the poems written in response to a post, or the really in depth explanations about some philosophical topic. I love the GIRL POWER when a female friend backs me up, and the kindness of friends who recognize when I'm feeling raw. Most of all, I love when YOU share your stories with me, your triumphs, your failures, your personal experiences -- all without me having to ask. I love the sharing! I think your stories are fascinating, probably why I love reading blogs, and I love to draw them out of you with my thoughts, without having to actually ASK for them. Instead, I strive to inspire you to reach into your own mind and then reach out to me and to everyone in communion, to share.
We learn it when we're in Kindergarten and it remains the single most important lesson throughout life: Sharing is good. We can share together, my thoughts for yours, my stories for your stories. We'll learn a lot along the way.
